After sharing her personal life and quest to find happily ever after on two reality shows, she acknowledges that there are some ill-favored misconceptions about who she is based on 60 and 30-minute episodes of television. Here’s what we learned: Madame Noire: What made you initially decide to do reality TV, specifically, to find love?
So I talked to her today in the hopes of clearing things up. Monet Bell: Actually, I didn’t know that it was a reality show at first. Because if she ugly she can’t come home [laughs].” So that wasn’t it. But when the episode came out, my aunt, my father’s sister, called me.
on Tuesdays now, Bell answered all of those questions and more during our chat.
It’s more or less, what I’ve been doing hasn’t been working and if given the opportunity to get married and potentially fall in love with somebody, why wouldn’t you take it? So I would get comments from women that said, “You think you’re too good for him! ” And what’s such an interesting thing, and I wish someone would analyze it, is this idea that you should just take whatever you can get.
MN: Even though the marriage was only five weeks, did you mourn your divorce from Vaughn Copeland in any way? And because I want to get married and because I want to have kids and because I’m expressing that, I should just accept whatever man is interested in me. I’m not accepting any man because I don’t have to accept any man.
Bell: I think the mourning was more about me feeling like I’d failed at the marriage. I don’t encourage women to take whatever they can get because, “Oh my goodness, what if I don’t find a man?
A friend of mine suggested it to me, telling me that it was a docuseries about being a single woman in the city. If we’re going to talk about relationships and dating, I’m a perfect candidate for this because this is exactly what I do.” You do a Skype interview, and then they select who they want the group to be. The things I was nervous about were in terms of speaking about relationships, like the relationship with my dad. She wanted to talk about it and express to me that my grandparents never said “I love you” either. It’s a really stressful situation to marry a stranger, you’re living together, there’s a level of intimacy with each other. But really what this show is really about is five women of color trying to figure out how we’re getting in our own way and just overcoming some of the behaviors that are counterproductive to what we would like.
And so when you come in, that’s when you meet the writers and creators of the show, and then they tell you what it’s actually about. ” Yes, I’m dating somebody, but you don’t bring everybody you’re dating home. ” MN: So is it awkward for them to watch your life play out on television? There’s an episode where I talk about how my father, who was extremely influential to me, never told me he loved me. She said it was an old-school mentality, and she wanted to, at least, be able to say to me, “He loved you.” And I’m like, “I never questioned him not loving me.” It was just a matter of showing affection and saying it, and it just wasn’t his thing. Then there’s stress and arguments, fights, and then there’s a camera crew. Not that editing did me wrong or anything like that, but I think it’s more from a perspective of, you saw a stressed out Monet. All these other things that really aren’t who I am as a person at all. In my case, as a result of , I was uncomfortable with sharing a lot of hurt, a lot of aspects of who I am as a woman, and you can attribute those to a fear of not wanting to scare men off, or never wanting to be too overwhelming to a man. I’ve lived a lot of my romantic and personal life out on national television.
And then you have an amount of time to figure out whether or not you want to do it or not. I’m from Cleveland, and all my family is in Cleveland. So if I’m going to bring a man home, it’s got to be something serious for me to make you come back to Cleveland with me. Because on , there was a lot of talk about your sex life with Vaughn and some very intimate issues and things. Bell: What’s very interesting about my family is that there are no boundaries from a sex perspective. So those are the tidbits I get nervous with, and then I’m compelled to make sure that I clarify it with my family so that they know what I mean by it. You didn’t really get to see the true essence of my personality. The biggest takeaway I got from is that I no longer do that. MN: What do you think is the biggest misconception about you?
And at that particular time, I was ready to get married. MN: Did you and do you still feel pressure from your family about getting married and having kids? Bell: I see a lot of comments, and, for the most part, I avoid reading comments.
I was in a place where I wasn’t having issues meeting men, but I wasn’t meeting the right kind of men or men who were ready to settle down. Bell: I go home, and my mother is like, “You know you’re 30 about to be 35.” My uncle asks, “You dating somebody? When I do read, there’s this idea that I don’t think anybody is good enough for me.
So to be honest with you, I was like, “If you can do it better than me, then go for it.” MN: Okay, that actually makes more sense. Or that I think I’m too good for whatever their situation is.