Instead, the front half of the vehicle is propelled forward and skids along a fence with a massive plume of smoke billowing from it, before spinning and coming to a stop in a driveway a few doors down.
Even if you have had a full-time job since July 4, 2005, you will be familiar with The Jeremy Kyle Show.
Kyle started his career as a salesman, moved to local radio, then on to present Jezza’s Confessions for Manchester-based Century FM, which seems to be where he got his appetite for shouting at people with problems.
He says he ‘believes the only way to solve a problem is through honesty and openness’.
He himself is not free from human weakness; he was addicted to gambling, which led to the disintegration of a very short marriage in 1990.
It has had its critics: in 2007, a Manchester district judge, Alan Berg, was required to pass sentence on a man who had head-butted his love rival on the show.
He called the Jeremy Kyle experience ‘human bear-baiting’ and told the accused man: ‘These self-righteous individuals should be in the dock with you.
They pretend there is some kind of virtue in putting out a show like this.’ That pretence of virtue is almost worse than the programme itself: the show’s psychologist, as well as various producers, make large claims about the good they do.
They offer counselling, or they get people into rehab or, with their trusty lie detectors and DNA tests, they claim to sow the seed of truth that blossoms into a happy, if complicated, family unit.
Very occasionally, it will be a tear-jerking story of child illness or similar, in which the sorrow is its own titillation and none of the guests is required to be a monster or get booed by the audience.
Generally, though, the argument will centre on a sad story about elemental human weakness: domestic violence, infidelity, hooliganism, antisocial behaviour, bad or nonexistent parenting.